There is so much to write about. So much to say to keep you all up to date. Where do I start? First, my revenge against Rocky Valido. I hid a raccoon underneath my garbage dispenser as a surprise for his lonely evening shift. Raccoons are indeed smart, but you would be surprised what you can do with a shiny object and a sledgehammer. Or would you be surprised? I guess that depends entirely upon the reader. Secondly, I've been pursuing other women interests. Since Jolene has issued a restraining order and somehow fostered the continued growth of her mustache, I've decided that now is the time that I meet other women. So far things are not going as well as I hoped. I have ruled out the following three locations as plausible areas of finding women: abandoned warehouses, opera houses, and family trees. I know, the second of those seems extremely unlikely, but there is something to be said for a woman with a well trained diaphragm. At any rate, my pursuits continue. Part C, I am getting tired of my repetitive job. I figure I'm going to quit and start working as a nanny... or a day care specialist. Really this just merges with the second item, I imagine that there are hordes of desperate single mothers out there... I have an interview tomorrow. Lastly, Francis has disappeared. Last I heard from him, he mentioned something about Antarctica and a newfound obsession with the breeding grounds of the Emperor Penguin. Go figure.
Heart Heart Heart. Kiss. Kiss. Hug. Kiss.
Darius.
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